I must confess, dear reader, there are times when only a meme will do.

• When one has been inordinately consumed with writing one's novel, wrenching spirit from the very heart of one's innards, ignoring such trivialities as meal preparation, general housekeeping, the call of the wild;

• When one's free time has been spent further avoiding such business by shopping, answering emergencies with wine and cigarettes, doing lunch, entertaining girlfriends;

• When the time that one should be spent sleeping off such over-indulgence is assigned to such previously avoided tasks as sweeping, mopping, dusting and all other wretched and tedious fundamentals of basic housekeeping;

• And when one inevitably becomes poorly...

Today (whimper), grieved by a sore and scratchy throat, a head awash with mucus, and with limbs flaccid and feeble, I discovered to my curious delight that a meme was anxiously awaiting my input. Courtesy of the very darling and deliciously talented Christina of Paris Romance, I was intrigued to find it required a revelation of Five Things.
Finding myself fundamentally incapable of preparing anything other than a slap-up meal, a quick fry up of my own eviscerated entrails this weekend, dear readers, it was perfect.
Indeed. It is fast food.

Please enjoy.
I do hope it won't give you indigestion.

Five Things

What are five things you were doing ten years ago?

1) Living in Balikpapan, East Kalimantan, Indonesia.
2) Wearing rampantly inappropriate camo mini skirts in a Muslim country.
3) Not housework. Oh no! I had a maid.
4) Doing lunch.
5) Preparing for a snowboarding holiday in France.

What are five things you were doing this time last year?

1) I was in England organizing my Nan's funeral.
2) Comforting my Mum a lot.
3) Missing my entourage at home.
4) Thinking of all the loose ends I hadn't tied.
5) Preparing to take Mum on a holiday through Andalucia, Spain.

What are five snacks that you enjoy?

1) Gorgonzola on wafer crackers, with shiraz of course darling.
2) Handfuls of pepitas
3) Butter and vegemite on Salada crackers
4) Twisties.
5) Strawberries.

What are five songs you know the lyrics to?

1) Luck Be a Lady - Frank Sinatra.
2) Killer Queen - Queen.
3) Sour Girl - Stone Temple Pilots
4) Spoonman - Soundgarden.
5) Hanky Panky - Madonna. (indeed...)

What five things would you do if you were a millionaire?

1) Buy a beachside home in Cottesloe.
2) Enjoy overseas holidays at least four times a year.
3) Donate more money to WSPA.
4) Build a holiday home in Eagle Bay.
5) Offer the luxury goods market my full support.

What are your five bad habits?

1) Chewing the skin next to my nails when I'm nervous.
2) Drowning in the details/Being utterly irresponsible.
3) Jumping to conclusions.Speaking out of turn.Upsetting the apple-cart
4) Pushing the limits, particularly when over the limit...
5) Not paying bills.

What five things do you like to do?

1) Write: my book, my blog.
2) Explore the world, traveling and adventuring .
3) Immerse myself in nature on mammoth treks - I love the communion of body and spirit with the elements.
4) Indulge my rampant sensuality in my most decadent and delicious theatre of hedonism.
5) Ignore the rest of the world and read.

What are five things you will never wear again?

1) My hair in the frizzy horror of Perm, circa 1989.
2) The monstrous reading glasses of, again, 1989. What the hell was I thinking!
3) Bright orange stockings under rolled up fluoro pink socks under purple plastic shoes. 1984. Good God.
4) Cheap underwear.
5) A wedding dress.

What are your five favorite toys?

1) My camera.
2) My laptop.
3) My iPod.
4) My Mac.
5) My little Italian Greyhound, Chi Chi..

What are five things you hate to do?

1) Housework. All of it, especially ironing.
2) Endure the company of ill mannered people.
3) Visit the doctor or the dentist.
4) Kowtow.
5) To do as I'm told, of course...

Perhaps you would like to whip up your own little fast food fry up, readers!!
It's easy really...you only need five things!
And a good excuse!

Now, dear readers, you must excuse me (sniff) while I take myself to bed.
It is chicken soup on the menu for me, of course...

PS: I know how most of you feel about memes...
So I have not tagged or bagged, or indeed shagged any of you,
for fear of incurring name calling, sneering or other scornful behaviour...
But please, by all means, feel free to slap away at the five, if you dare...
Mmm, challenging arent I?
No? Okay...I'm delirious now and I'm off to bed.

xox